New Recipe: How to Bake A Communist State Cake (It’s Easy!)

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup vanilla
1/2 cup imported chocolate
2 tons complicit media
2 tons secret donors
Smidge of political appointments
1 left leaning political party
Generous helping of community activism
1 Ivy League education
Ton of anger
Full set of empty promises
Team of political handlers
Law School
Lots of Smiles
Drugs
Alcohol


Mix vanilla and imported chocolate well. Where you do this is not important. Move mix to Muslim nation for several years and expose to anti-American sentiment. Bring to fringe state and enroll in expensive left wing prep school. Tell mix often that the country in which it resides is unjust.

Send to Ivy League schools on scholarship, (foreign if necessary), and donations from secret donors. Stir well with drugs and alcohol and add generous helpings of anti-American sentiment. Tell mix that it is special and has the ability to make everything better for everyone and make it all “fair”.

Send to law school but DO NOT publish any of mixes opinions. When mix has graduated, add to left leaning political party, place in liberal law firm in center of country and expose to community activism. Use smidge of political appointments to place on liberal boards and bribe officials to grant chairmanship on the board of any organization “for the children”.  Make sure that mix learns political-speak well. 

Use funds from secret donors and bribes to place in state legislature. Give minor assignments on “Civil rights” committees. Continue –anti-American training. Use scare tactics in general election with additional secret funding to have mix elected to national legislature. Give mix key-note speakership at national party presidential election. Keep mix well away from its own causes for the next four years and instruct it to voice opposition to current administration.

Use more secret funding to sponsor presidential campaign of mix. Use Political Handlers to stir in equal parts anger , smiles, complicit media and empty promises. Tell citizens you are going to make the best  and most transparent “American” cake ever and show them the picture on the box. Allow mix to laugh and rise all the way to the top of  left leaning party.

Bring to a boil until elected President. Place in Oval Office and begin to bake. Conceal all evidence of secret recipe and force agenda on citizens. DO NOT let ANYONE look inside of ANY of the mixing bowls or baking pans. If someone sneaks a peak tell everyone they are crazy and they don’t know what they saw. If any citizens get too noisy use complicit media to tell everyone they are just trying to make your cake fall, call them “crazies” and “racists” and that they are just angry that you are making the best American cake ever because they don’t think everyone should have cake.

Slowly gather all of citizenry’s rights and property while telling them you are just trying to make a bigger and better cake for everyone . Once you have gathered everything from everyone your cake is done!

Tell all of the citizens “Welcome to the Party”! Use rationing system to distribute crumbs to everyone that is still around. If anyone complains, show them the picture on the box again.

ENJOY!